Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Vodka?
Forever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
