So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
