Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm eating all of the evidence.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
