I can tuck mytits in my pants
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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