I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she peed on how many people?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
