So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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