its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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