we have pet lesbian snakes
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
