Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
