after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
