What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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