Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
