I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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