I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
