youre lurking in front of me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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