just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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