my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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