im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
