Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize