This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think my moral compass just broke
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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