Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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