the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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