Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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