Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I need moral support for this bender
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
