She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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