That's intense
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize