oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
