My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Your penis caused this!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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