i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize