Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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