my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
