I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
