Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
