no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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