so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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