He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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