:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
