dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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