More tranny stories later!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
