I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize