Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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