Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
