I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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