No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
