and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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