I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
