I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
