Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
