is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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