I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
