i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's never too late to be topless.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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