my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize