She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize