you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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