Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
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