Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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