I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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