Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We got so high we made milksteak
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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